22362. red green: If women don't find you handsome, they can sure find you handy. Dalton Humphrey: Shoplifter? Hap: No... television! Red: I could be a great astronomer, Harold! — The Sims 3 (description of the "Duct Tape Rigger" rank on the Inventing career path) Every problem in the world can be fixed with one of two items. Harold: A professional with a concise premise of one or two sentences, something like: Harold: "A meteorologist and his ex-wife chase tornadoes around the Midwest; and a bunch of special effects happens. Red Green — ‘If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.’ ... Red Green > Quotes > Quotable Quote “If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” ― Red Green Read more quotes from Red Green. Harold: Don't launch right in to the two hour version you know, see if you can get their attention like uh, you know. Program Info “Spare the duct tape, spoil the job!” – Red Green. The enemy is at the gates…heck the enemy may even be named Gates. Remember, I’m pullin’ for ya! Mike: Father. Over the last few decades, computers have slowly but surely taken over every aspect of our existence, and there have been a bunch of us who have fought it every step of the way from punch cards to PC’s. Thanks for your vote! ], [Harold moves his hands leave the left hand above the desk, while his right hand is under the desk]. Bob Steuyvesant: Motel 6. Red Green: Be generous with the duct tape, you know; spare the duct tape, spoil the job. Red: (closing line of each Mid-Life Musings segment) Remember, I'm pulling for you. Red: A horse with a horn is called a unicorn / A horse with stripes is called a zebra / A horse with wings is called Pegasus / And a horse with a broken leg is called glue. Donald... A great memorable quote from the The Red Green Show movie on Quotes.net - Red Green: Be generous with the duct tape, you know; spare the duct tape, spoil the job. Red: (closing line of each show) Keep your stick on the ice. — D20 Modern rules on duct tape. Red: Well, yeah, if you insist. 22363. "[He wiggles his fingers trying to help visualize the story, and then he giggles.]. Look in the mirror! Mike Hammer: And today's winner will receive a new house... roof... shingle. Saved by Jessica Cocker. Info. Duct Tape Forever Director's Cap Our Price: $8.95 . Add : Share your knowledge of this product with other customers... Be the first to write a review. But, you know, as for the two hour version is concerned. Dalton: Gee, you should come by my house Christmas morning. Red Green's Man's Prayer: "I am a man. Red Green: I don't go to Japanese restaurants. Recommend to … 18. The Red Green Show is a Canadian television comedy that aired on various channels in Canada, with its ultimate home at CBC Television, and on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) stations in the United States, from 1991 until the series finale 7 April …, The cardinal work of charity is not by the number that counts, but by…, A broken home is not a broken life. 9 Mar. Wayne Robson, the veteran Canadian actor perhaps best known for playing a sticky-fingered former thief on The Red Green Show, has died at the age of 65. Red: If your wife had kids, you would be...? Red: Things don't improve with age. Red: (as he duct tapes a spare tire to the flat tire) This is only temporary, unless it works. It's all crap. Red: This is what normal people drink. Add : Possum Lodge Crest Our Price: $4.95 . ‘Before Computers.’ Back then, the only use for silicon we knew about was from looking at pictures of pinup girls…which was also our introduction to the concept of ‘Virtual Reality.’ Life was a lot simpler when ‘boot up’ and ‘log on’ was something you did when you wanted to warm your feet by the fire. Harold: Yeah, if people like that, and only if they like that, you can go on to tell the treatment. I prefer to use the term 'a load of bad stuff'. Don't push it. -Red Green. He is married to Bernice Green and does not have any children. Web. We're all in this together. Kevin Black: They don't serve pizza. Harold: I want to talk to old guys about telling stories that nobody wants to hear. Red: Aha! Red: Oh, your hands are connected to your arms/ Your arms are connected to your shoulders/ Your shoulders are connected to your body / Your body is connected to your head. [Harold giggles, making motions with his hands.]. Kevin Black: They don't let you do that. [Audience laughs and the angle of the camera shifts to the right]. Red Green is a bearded Canadian carpenter who's really handy with his hands and can find great uses for duct tape. Red Green: You’ve probably heard them say that ‘to err is human, but to really mess up you need a computer.’ I’m actually old enough to remember the years B.C. But I’m here to tell you that the battle is over…and we lost, baby! The Red Green Show Duct Tape Picture Quotes Weapon Actors & Actresses Movie Tv Cow Tube Nerd Dream date.....I miss the Red Green Show! Red Green: Pizza. Ranger Gord: American beer? Copy link. Everyone panics when the Lodge runs out of duct tape and the local hardware store is back-ordered. Move on, pitch out another idea! Add : Man's Prayer T-Shirt Our Price: $14.95 . Red: Let's say your wife is planning a fancy dinner-- All Lodge members: (Reciting the "Men's Prayer") I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess. . “Be generous with the duct tape,” said Red Green, host of the classic The Red Green Show. We lost big time! Red Green: (repeated line) ...the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape. Dalton Humphrey: Trump? It's good to focus on the fundamentals and work your way upwards in the inventing industry. Discover and share Red Green Duct Tape Quotes. Lay down your arms and get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome like everybody else. Harold: That's good. Harold: And it's just like a little longer version with more details. Red Green - Duct Tape Forever Quotes. Mike: Could you be a little more specific? Edgar: Spin the grenade! Movie & TV guides. Red: This is a family member, Mike; the man who slept with your mother. We truly appreciate your support. This page has been listed as needing cleanup since, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Red_Green_Show&oldid=2917718, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Harold: You older guys... you might want to try that. Edgar Montrose: Oops! Red: (closing line of each Handyman Corner segment) If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. You see, they a little bit of the story to see if people are interested. [Impersonating an old man with a deep voice and sounds like a dumb person], Harold: "Uh, you uh know one time I uh had to change a tire in the rain, on my way to a wedding." Movie & TV guides. Look at your truck. Shopping. Harold: (to audience) He's always been good at staring off into space, so... Red: I either have a plan, or I'm an idiot. Red: (closing line of each Mid-Life Musings segment) Remember, I'm pulling for you. If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device. His farewell tour comes to Phoenix. We're all in this together. Harold: Mr. Dalton Humphrey, you have 30 seconds to get Uncle Red to say this word- [giggles nervously, too embarrassed to say the word himself, but does point to it on the card] and go! Blog: Sometimes I think of things that would never occur to Red Green: Spare the Duct Tape, Spoil the job. Harold: If you are met with cold stares, don't tell the story! Harold Green: (reading a letter) "Dear experts --" la la la -- "I find that everything on television is a load of crap. We've got no overhead! See computers were in their infancy back then, but like most infants, they eventually grow up to be teenagers and then take over your life. Red: Um, OK, but this has no taste to it. Red: Sometimes I get to thinkin' / About all the mistakes I've made / All the people I've hurt / And all the bills I haven't paid / Sometimes I get to thinkin' / I should change and get on the ball... / But then I turn on the ol' TV and I don't get to thinkin' at all. Harold: You know in Hollywood they actually have a system for telling stories. Harold: [He does his old man impression and says]"Duh (Did I) tell you kids about the time I stepped on a birthday cake? Harold: Remember, you're on your own. SUBSCRIBE NOW STANDS4 LLC, 2021. A broken promise is not a broken…. 'Cause usually you have a plan and you're an idiot. Red's wife Bernice is The Ghost on The Red Green Show, but she actually appeared onscreen in the show Me And Max played by Steve Smith's real-life wife Morag. Then yule see. Top 200 of all time … He hosts with his nerdy nephew, Harold. See more ideas about red green, the red green show, green. 2021. Harold: [Harold pointed his hands at the camera] If they are interested, and only if they are interested, go on with a little bit longer version. Duhuhuh (to emphasize a dumb old man)". Apr 29, 2013 - Explore Kristen Bancroft's board "Red Green", followed by 1680 people on Pinterest. (Translation: When all else fails, play dead.). Add : Handsome/Handy T-Shirt Our Price: $14.95 . Kevin Black: What would you eat at a Japanese restaurant? Dalton Humphrey: [coughs and clears throat] Red Green: I'd bring it with me. Quotes.net. red, green, pbs, funny, meme, duct tape. Red: Invented what, Hap... crap? Trying to teach the viewers how to make excellent and useful crafts, as well as give marriage advice, from their home at Possum Lodge. Harold: Say for instance you have a movie idea, I got lots okay, but you know anyway. Red Green - Duct Tape Forever Quotes. The Red Green Show Steve Green Hysterically Funny Favorite Tv Shows My Favorite Things Men Are Men Family Humor Great Memories Home Repair He is seldom seen without his trademark red-and-green suspenders and Canadian military field manoeuvres cap. [holds it up]. Harold: You've got no inhead! Best Horror Movies. Harold: Then if they like that, you can go into the full-blown screenplay. Red: (closing line of each show) Keep your stick on the ice. Red Green: That's why I don't go! Red: (opening line of each Repair Shop segment) If it ain't broke, you're not trying. This show, for those who are not familiar with it, is the amalgamation of comedy, handyman, and personal counseling all wrapped up in duct tape and presented by the backwoods host Red Green. Red: Oh, hats off to my science teachers / They were absolutely right after all / 'Cause I just threw a fridge off my roof / And cold air definitely falls. Harold: Okay so, and you know it reminds you one of your [making quote marks with his hands to sarcastically emphasize]"Amusing stories". Rested and always ready, The Red Green Show continues to bring smiles to audiences across the country. Mike: Long gone. / Oh, your head is connected to... nothing... / Which explains a lot. Red: Younger than 20; older than 12. Related quizzes can be found here: Red Green Show Quizzes Red: Oh, you never see a vampire with a full-grown beard / Yet a vampire can't see his reflection / So a lack of facial hair is unbelievably weird / 'Cause you'd think shaving would be out of the question. Red: Sex? Red: If your wife's having a good time and you're not, you're still having a better time than if you're having a good time and she's not. Do you think that everything on television is a load of bad stuff?" All Lodge members: (Possum Lodge oath) Quando omni flunkus, morit… "The Red Green Show Quotes." Yeah, it's all crap, as far as I'm concerned. Dec 26, 2018 - Explore Brian McKinney's board "Red Green", followed by 814 people on Pinterest. Harold: See how they do that? Tap to unmute. Red: Why do you have such a negative attitude towards the festive season, Dalton? And it could have been so good too, that's what bothers me. 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